is so retched that I can't breathe out of my mouth right now. I literally gagged on his fart. It's so bad, that when we hit the next stop, a woman who got and walked past me exchanged looks with me. I shook my head no (as in ... Hell no, that didn't come out of me), and she moved as far past me as possible ... Trying to use me as some sort of makeshift fart shield.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
I broke down this morning and put my headphones in. I'm feeling rather out of sorts due to a variety of factors, and I decided that being able to check out for 10 minutes was necessary. Rather hypocritical, I know.
It feels like when you walk around town (and subway) that 50% or more of the people you encounter are plugged in. They can't hear what's going on around them; they're checked out. I think about personal safety, about human connection. I've often believed that it was a barrier to block everyone out. But maybe it's an attempt to keep what's left of them, inside. To stop the unraveling.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
I'm assigned to a new location for the next couple of months. It's my chance to show that I know what I'm doing. This means a new route and hopefully, new pictures and stories; it's pretty exciting!
As I type this, I'm smooshed into a seat between a large guy and a divider (rock and hard place). Meanwhile the guy standing on the other side of the divider is mashing his crotch up against it and almost between the horizontal metal bars ... Right where my shoulder is pinned due to the large guy on the right. This is ... just ... awesome.
I think I need a shower when I get home.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Have a great weekend:
Groceries need room, too.
His buddy next door.
There are Girl Scout cookies in that bag ... Taunting me ... Do you see the purple package? Everybody knows those are Samoas, or the more politically correct - caramel delights.
Calling out to me ...
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Last night, I was on the train late due to a lovely chance to see the San Antonio Spurs play, and win I might add. This is what we encountered on the last leg of our journey:
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
When I got on the second leg of my journey this morning, I had to cram myself into the train; standing on the bottom step, bags by my feet, head in a little pocket, my right breast almost resting on the ass of the guy in front of me. I thought to myself, this isn't a problem Heather, as a ton of people are getting off at the next stop. When we pulled into the next station, the wave moved forward to exit, but the door didn't open. I was able to step up one step and give myself a little more space for my head. The door still didn't open. And then the train pulled out.
Immediately, a tiny bit of alarm set in on some faces, astonishment on others. In the pit of my stomach, a moment of sheer panic sprouted. It was hard to breathe. I needed to get off now, almost said it out loud. I pushed it down and tried to make more space for my head.
When we pulled into the next station, the door didn't open again. Someone laughed, some sighed, someone said kick the door, I said push on it, someone talked about not wanting to go to work anyway. The door opened, and the hordes stepped out. I was able to relax a little.
This may be a long day.
Friday, February 7, 2014
This morning's first leg of the commute was full of vignettes:
- me wedged between two huge guys, each refusing to move their arms in even a smidge. I rode with my shoulders rolled forward and one small bit of my back touching the seat, forearms stretched out in front if me, as I couldn't bend my elbows.
- a small group of high school students discussing the previous nights basketball game at a rival school. One young woman discussed the personal affront she had received by another lady in attendance who had called her out on an issue. She became more & more animated about the injustice. By the end of our trip, she was loudly planning when she was going to beat the shit out of the offender.
- two women sitting kitty corner to me who I thought were having a lovely early morning discussion, until I realized that only one was talking. It was really a one person discussion. She had a cool hat on though, pointed with a little pom pom and long braid ties. At one point, woman number two pulled a couple boxes of powdered soup mix out of her purse and started to read the labels, obviously looking for an out.
Good morning, Boston.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
The only seat available on the way home was in a forward facing side by side seat - I don't like these, as I feel trapped against the other person. A chic was already in the window seat with 2 small bags on the adjacent seat. I stood there for a count of 3 Mississippi staring at her, with her not moving, before I said, "excuse me, may I please sit down."
She sighed a little, grabbed one of the bags and put it on her lap where she had a notebook open. I sat, with one cheek on, tried to skootch over a little more, but finding resistance, made due. I proceeded to take my scarf and hat off, put them in my second bag at my feet (purse on my lap) and grabbed my phone from my pocket. Apparently my settling in disturbed her, so she huffily shut her notebook, put it in her bag and took out her mittens. All the while staring straight ahead.
She sat this way for three more stops, until she picked up the handles of the bags. I took this to mean she was departing. I turned and looked at her, waiting for a verbal indication of her need for me to move. Nothing ... She stared straight ahead, refused to look at me, refused to acknowledge that proper manners dictated the need for her to excuse herself to get by me. She stood before the train stopped, then I stood and said, "here you go" making room for her to pass. I believe I heard a thank you through gritted teeth.
In general, I like people. I want to help, to problem solve. I actually consider serving others a blessing and a duty. Weird, I know. But every so often, I meet someone like this woman, and I become quite disappointed. It doesn't dampen my need to help others, but it does make me tired.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
The guy sitting next to me this morning was farting up a storm. Every bump and jostle of the train brought out the best in him. He either had an internal problem, or it was an attempt to drive me out if my seat, thereby making more room for him. Well, he had no idea who he was dealing with, and clearly had never met my husband. I've been training in "chemical weapons" for over 2 decades. His puny farts were like tulips to my trained nose. I hunkered down and watched him leave in defeat ... With a vapor trail.