Thursday, October 15, 2015


     I read an article several years ago that referenced a study describing what kills men versus women.  It wasn't so much about diseases as life events, specific to heart attacks, suicide and dropping dead. The evidence suggests that it's big dramatic events - job loss, eviction, family tragedy, etc. - that kill men, and it's the steady accumulation of dozens of smaller shitty events - insert your million examples here - that kill women.
     As I am a woman, I have always been quite amused by this because, I don't want to brag here, but I can point to a bajillion smaller shitty events in my life that should have kicked the stool out from under my feet by now.  So I'm thinking that every time something marvelous has happened, the scale resets.
     Case in point, after a rough couple of weeks with my personal cup of crap filling up, one of my co-workers spent hours last night texting me back and forth about how late she was going to be this morning due to a family emergency.  We brainstormed solutions for three hours, until I had to tell her we'd just have to let it go and deal with it in the morning.  There would be emails, a delay, potential repercussions, extra paperwork ... the list goes on.  When I got to work, miracle of miracles, a very occasional teammate unexpectedly showed up to use an office, and we were saved.  No emails to write, no extra paperwork needed - we were still shorthanded and stressed, but what could have been terrible, wasn't.
     During a ten minute break, I figured out how to eat my yogurt with a lollipop since the spoon in my lunchbox went AWOL, another out of the box blessing (literally, since I found the lollipop in the bottom of a box in the break room).  Then finally home to the greatest babies on the planet, and my final blessing of the night:  

     And with this gesture, the scales are much closer to even.  Remember that best friend from high school that I mentioned a while back, the one person (aside from my mother) who was always on my side - these are from her.  I don't have enough time here to tell you how awesome she was and is to this day.  She taught me how to french braid my own hair, crocheted me afghans, wrote endless notes/letters/stories with me, told bawdy jokes with me, bemoaned all the boys that wouldn't look at me twice, drove hours to see me act in college.  She loved me and cared for me, and I hope with all my heart that I was able to give her even a tenth of the joy she brought me.  We lost contact with each other 20 years ago due to distance, life and my issues.  It's not something to be proud of, but thankfully, Scarlet was right and tomorrow is another day and another chance - and another blessing.

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