Monday, April 28, 2014

New Route

     Intrepid readers, I start a new route to work tomorrow.  It's only for a month or so, but instead of taking the subway, I'll be driving.  I'm sure I'll find anecdotes to share.
     On the way home, I just missed a fight  between 2 young women and a young man at State St. station.  There were several police officers restraining both sides.  Somebody is not happy.  Then I was moved forward to wait on the crowded far end.  Lucky to grab a seat:

(That's my current view.). The crabby lady to my right was displeased when my hair touched her.  I apologized, but apparently I interrupted her Kindle time - shitty device - old loyalties die hard.  
     My missed lunch is in the bag at my feet.  If I could only bend my elbows to my mouth ... It's calling my name ... Eat me ... Eat me ... Eat me.  I don't think the guy on my left would appreciate the lox though, so I've got to wait till it thins out a bit.  
     I will miss the train, believe it or not.

Thursday, April 24, 2014


     Here's a shot walking down one of the long corridors to my connecting train:

     I get to the end, and praise God, my train is pulling up.  After allowing passengers off, I step on and this jerkface in gray:

would not get the fuck out of the way.  I say "excuse me" twice before I finally push between him and a guy who was behind him.  A woman with a cane tried to get on behind me, and he wouldn't move for her either.  She had to go to the left between him and the pole.  The guy in red above promptly jumped up and gave her his seat.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Nice Couple

     Here's a picture of a lovely couple who have done nothing but smile at each other and have a low level conversation:

     This juxtaposes the two men I was crammed between who pushed past me to get on the train to get a seat and then tried to gain the elbow upper hand for three stops.  They were slightly stinky, and I am slightly stinky.  I tried to will myself to smell more so they would suffer.  Stinky vengeance. 

Friday, April 18, 2014

Ride Home

     Total ride home time on this never ending cycle of crap since the shut down: 1 hour 9 minutes
     Time on train: 30 mins

     That means 39 minutes was devoted to waiting for the trains in between to arrive and walking to the trains.  It is clear that at night, on these subway lines that aren't servicing wealthy college students, the MBTA doesn't give a flying fuck.

     In other news, her jeans are practically painted on:

     The owner of this lollipop is unhappy:

     And, as I waited for the last train, the couple standing next to me on the crowded platform debated whether or not the female should pull out the ingrown facial hair of the male with her.  While they were standing there.  He worried there would be too much blood.  She kept squeezing his face, saying repeatedly, I've almost got it.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Fun with Friends

This morning, the two gentlemen you can see:

Alternately took turns punching their standing friend in the crotch for several stops.  He would double over after each hit, and when upright again, it would start over.  All this complete with grown men giggling.  See above how the guy is eyeing the crotch area looking for a chance to strike.  Like a cobra.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Oh My

This guy in the blue:

Is singing along to this song:

And it's making the gentlemen around him a wee bit nervous.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014


     I hope that I don't anger any of you with what I'm about to say, but I need a soapbox moment.

     Mothers & fathers, can we please stop yanking our precious babies around by the arm, tiny wrist, collar, etc?  If your child is about to run out in traffic - yank, about to stick their arm in the tiger cage at the zoo - yank away, about to walk into the campfire - yank the crap out of them.  But reaching for a counter to touch it ... Really?  Touching the window on the subway car (while inside) ... Necessary? Touching a chair in the food court at the mall ... Why?  All these and more I've seen in the last two days.
     I don't believe in corporal punishment for children.  I'm sure some of you out there will say, but Heather, spare the rod and spoil the child.  To which I say, tuna fish sandwiches spoil, not children. Ah, but you'll say look at example A-Z of spoiled children.  And I will tell you that yanking a child hard or smacking a child doesn't teach the child to not do "x".  It teaches a child that bigger people can push littler people around.  It teaches a child to live with fear or to desire to perpetuate it.  My mother never put a finger on me; she did everything through guilt.  My greatest fear as a teenager was in disappointing her ... It was far more effective.
     I understand being frustrated after you've told someone not to touch something 12 times.  My children frustrate me too, at times.  But if your words aren't working, look at the way you're saying it, look at the child ... hungry, tired, over/under stimulated and parental inconsistency are the top choices in our house.  
     (I say all this with the caveat that if you have a special needs child, I have no idea what I'm talking about.  God bless you, and may comfort and peace be upon you.  You have a much harder job, filled with countless blessings.  And you don't need one more person's unknowing opinion.)
     But as for the rest of us, I ask that we watch the way we yank these precious babies to and fro.  Maybe it's the grown ups that need a time out.

Thursday, April 10, 2014


     I got on a packed train first thing this morning, and as I know it's going to be a long day, I made a beeline for a seat with a bag on it.  It belonged to a large guy.

I stand in front of the bag. (beat)
We make eye contact. (beat)
"May I please sit down?" Said in my higher register. He continues to look at me. (beat)
He moves the bag to his lap, saying nothing.
I slide into the spot.

     He then sits there and chews each fingernail on his right hand for the next 7 stops, letting the nails fall on his chest.  I seem to make some boys nervous.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Mr. Unhappy

     Whilst traveling back and forth, I carry two bags; a purse and a canvas bag with my dress shoes and suit jacket.  Today, since it's raining, I had to add an umbrella.  I keep the purse on my lap and the 2nd bag tucked between my feet with the wet umbrella as a friend.
     When my stop came, I reached down to grab the bag handles, but couldn't get the umbrella due to the guy standing directly in front of me.  Picture me, trying to keep my head up, flailing arm straight down, not being able to look - because if I change the angle of my head forward ... I'm going to be on much better terms with this guy than I care to be.  He wouldn't move.  He was hoping I'd go face first into Mr. Unhappy.  Fortunately for me, the guy beside him needed to get by, which afforded me my means of escape.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

How Romantic ...

     As I sit here on the green line, after waiting almost 20 minutes for a train to show up, I'm being blessed with the most obnoxious conversation I may have heard in years between three men.  It's the guy standing and the two sitting (back of their heads):

     Why obnoxious, you ask?  They're discussing some hot chick one of them met the other day at the gym.  One asked, but do you really want to date a girl who is better at golf than you?  I don't know, dude, was his response.  It went on from there.  If she was good at this sport or that sport (I think he said racquetball), that would be ok, because I wouldn't be into those (no real competition).  But golf, that's a big deal.  Then I almost swear I thought I heard one of them say, and if she could take care of herself physically that would be great, because than I wouldn't have to worry about defending her.
     Now maybe all this was being said on purpose in order to piss off all those in earshot (which would be all of us) or maybe they're just dicks.  I'm leaning towards dicks though.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I See You

     You're trying to be so careful, but I see you:

You keep trying to reach up and pick your nose ...

Oh, you put your hands down.

Drat ... Missed again.  You're fast.  But now my little friend has left me, not before grabbing this bar on the way out:

I feel like I should tell inform that guy he was invited to a germ buffet ...