Saturday, July 23, 2016

Speeding up

     I think I've figured out why time seems to be flying by, why it feels like the kids are growing up too quickly, and I think it all comes down to having a crappy job.
     When you're a child, you spend your time getting excited for the next birthday or cool event in your life.  I can't wait to be kissed.  I can't wait to be a teenager.  I can't wait to drive. I can't ... and so forth and so on.  It used to seem like it was taking forever to get to the next event.  Even if your childhood and home life wasn't ideal, you had these life goals to get enthusiastic for, to plan for, to daydream about.
     As you moved into adulthood, maybe you were in love, starting a life together, even after you started a family, you were still anticipating.  Maybe it was his turn to make dinner or the baby just learned how to roll over.  You had things to look forward to, but they were just around the bend in time.  As time passed though, all of it started to change and speed up.  All of a sudden, your kids were teenagers and you had no idea how you got this old.
     It finally dawned on me today.  I was at work thinking, just 2 more hours and I get to go home to the babies.  I've probably thought something like this a million times.  Just this much longer until I get to go home to them, just this many days until the weekend when I can have a day and a half with them, just this many weeks until I can have a whole week off with them.  I think it all comes back to the level of crappiness in your job.  If you're unhappy, unfulfilled, you're probably looking forward to your "weekend" - whatever that translates to for you - and usually that's a couple days away.  So then the weekend comes, and you're already thinking about the next one.  And so on, and so on, and so on.  Then you look at the baby, and they're 15.
     We give our youth and energy to these jobs that barely appreciate us, and in return we thank them for letting us have 2-4 weeks a year with the humans we created, who we theoretically really dig being around.  There's got to be a way to slow down the merry-go-round, because I need to jump off.

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