Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Tent Sale

     I was fortunate this weekend to be able to buy a couple suits to replace some worn out work clothes.  Like many women, I'm one size on top (bigger) and another on the bottom (smaller), but it's not because I've been blessed with a prodigious rack ... oh no, after many years of working in receiving rooms throwing boxes of books around long after I was a receiving manager, and even more years of toting children around, I've got some biceps.  Trust me, I've also got a soupcon of flabby triceps, but I'm focusing on the bicep dilemma.
     So other than being able to carry a couple gallons of milk in one hand and a six year old under the other arm, what else have these beauties caused me to consider? A. I don't usually wear sleeveless shirts/dresses in public, and B. I have to try all jackets/blouses/etc. on before I leave a store because there's a pretty good chance that if it's tight I'm going to look like my upper arms are sausages.  Aside from being visually appealing, it makes one incapable of effectively using ones arms, which can be a detriment at work.
     Which leads me back to my shopping trip.  I found a couple things, and I tried the jackets on.  They fit, allowed me to move my arms and didn't make me look like a matron.  [On a side note, I don't care what the number on the tag says, as every company is different.  It's not that I've attained some level of inner acceptance, it's simply a realization that it's a number and not a measure of my worth as a human being.  Like many of us out there, I weigh more than I did when I got out of college.  Add a couple children, and I prefer to say that I'm bit for lovin' not for speed.]  Back to the suit at hand.  This morning as I got ready for work, I was excited to get dressed.  Exited that is until I put the pants on.  Remember how I mentioned I always try the top on.  Well, I rarely try the bottom part on.  If it turns out to be a smidge too big, I'll take it in or use a safety pin.  I'm resourceful like that.  But these pants were like a tent. 
     Do you remember palazzo pants?  Do you remember how so many of us thought it'd be cute to wear pants that when we put our legs together looked like a long skirt?  Is it coming back to you now.  You swished when you walked.  The long flowing skirt-looking idea was great in concept, but nobody stands still that long.  You got stuck in car doors.  You had to be extra careful on escalators.  That's what came flooding back to me in the bathroom mirror this morning.  Suffice to say, the pants got changed out as I didn't wish to hear congratulations from customers on my impending due date.       

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