Tonight, my husband, Rusty, mentioned the name of an old friend of his from college, but I couldn't place the name. He had come across a picture and was trying to jar my memory. Then he reminded me of something this guy said over 20 years ago that I had forgotten about. Back in the day, when it was clear that Rusty and I were probably going to be a long-term partnership, this friend felt a need to take him aside and have a little conversation. He told Rusty that although I was a nice girl, it would probably be better to break up with me because I was clearly Rusty's intellectual inferior. He hoped Rusty would learn from his own experiences at dating a girl who wasn't his equal.
I started to remember when he had originally told me about this a million years ago. Rusty had found the conversation amusing, tried to set the guy straight. He told me only as an after thought. I remember it stinging, as I've always been concerned that my niceness can be misinterpreted as being simpleminded. I've have seen this from time to time over the years. I also remember thinking I'd barely ever even had a conversation with this guy - on what could he have possibly built this opinion. It did bother me for awhile, probably out of my own insecurities, but I eventually moved past it. Tonight's reminder caused some further introspection, as I'm going through a minor existential crisis concerning my course in life.
If I were to have a conversation with this guy now, I'd hope that he'd see just how misguided he was, or maybe he'd apologize to me before we even got started. I'd love to ask how he even formed this idea, if only to gain insight on how at least one person perceived me so very long ago.
Or I could just key his car.