Dark

     The walk to the train at night is fairly well lit, and honestly, less than five minutes ... the walk from train to home, a smidge longer.  But I have to admit to you, this almost irrational fear bubbles up when during the walk something triggers my spider sense.

     I'm walking down the better lit office building recess that I've mentioned before, when I hear the familiar sound of a group of men laughing and jostling with each other.  I immediately shifted from under the recess so I'd have running room, if necessary.  Up ahead were four guys, probably all honor students and blood donors, but I was on guard.  They crossed the street and paid me no mind, but for a few seconds, multiple scenarios went thru my mind.  Nothing in this purse is worth fighting over, but let's be honest, it's not really the purse I'm worried about.

     We all have fears that can grip us, twist us to the point of no return - if we let them.  I try to be "rationally" in control always, but sometimes that control is so much vapor.  

     When I was little, I loved the dark - going out at night was exciting.  When I'm at home, the dark is no problem.  I've memorized the footprint of everything, so I can get ready in the morning in the without turning a light on.  This way, I don't disturb the family.  But being alone in the nighttime doesn't hold joy for me anymore; it hasn't for a long time.